The Outspoken Clitic

You head me wax on before about the Hitachi Magic Wand recently, but what about the hot new kid on the block, the Fairy Mini Mini?¹ A few people have even preferred it to the Hitachi!  How does this toy measure up for us super sensitive (or, if you prefer, wussy) people?  Thanks to the good people over at MyPleasure, I can now tell you.

Pros

There are some really awesome things about the Fairy Mini Mini.  First and foremost amongst these things is the dial.  That’s right, you now have a choice between “high” and “excruciatingly high”!  The dial allows you to choose your level of power, and I ended up mostly on the lower end of the spectrum.  This tiny thing puts out a terrifying amount of power.

Another pro is that the Fairy Mini Mini is, as the name implies, rather small.  It can be used either with a plug-in wall cord or a plug-in battery pack, so it can be portable and travel-friendly, too.  It is not a huge hulking heavy thing like the Hitachi.

Cons

It has pink detailing all over it.  Hurl.

The head is small.  Part of the reason I like the Hitachi is that the head is huge, and with a towel in between me and it I can have the vibrations diffuse all over.  The same kind of use isn’t really possible with the Fairy Mini Mini.  The head is much better for pinpoint stimulation, which I can’t really tolerate, especially with the kind of power this thing puts out.

It sounds like a spaceship taking off.

Like with so many toys, personal preference is going to make or break the experience.  If you like pinpoint clit stimulation, you will love this toy, especially since the power level is so customizable.

Thanks to MyPleasure!

Final Checklist:
Tiny: ✔
Travel-Friendly: ✔
Devoid of Pink: x
Crazy Amounts of Power: ✔
Outspoken Clitic Rating: 8/10

1. Before you say anything, I know that MyPleasure calls it the Fairy Mini.  There’s a larger sibling to this toy that’s also called the Fairy Mini.  I’ve given up trying to figure out the intended names for these things. [↩]

The Old Passion by ~JogiART

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The Hitachi needs no introduction, no special photo, no video.  You’ve all seen it.  Lots of you own it.  This is no milquetoast toy: it engenders strong opinions in everyone, both of deep, unending love or of abject terror.  Some of you have unjustified disdain for those who use it.¹ It is ubiquitous.

The Hitachi is not the prettiest girl in the room.  It’s not quiet.  It’s not small.  It’s not discreet.  There’s a reason it’s called the “Cadillac of vibrators”: back in the day, Cadillacs were the cars that thought they were houses.  I guess you could pretend that you’re using it for its intended purpose, as a back massager, but by this point most people know what the deal is.

Now, I hear you.  Right now your are rolling your eyes towards the heavens and lamenting, “oh, laughter-loving and high-crowned Aphrodite,  do we really need another Hitachi Magic Wand review?” It’s not that I’m not sympathetic to your annoyance.  It’s just that I’m going to keep going anyway.

You see, I think I have a slightly different perspective to offer on the Hitachi.  It is often bandied about that the Hitachi is great for women who have the ol’ clit o’steel, for women who have trouble having an orgasm with a partner or with a less powerful toy.  While this is most assuredly true, I would like to submit that the Hitachi is also great for those of us who have more wussy clits.  I have the wussiest clit in all of existence.² I like super diffuse vibrations.  The Hitachi is great for this, actually: I can actually position it so it’s not even touching my clit, but rather lower part of my vulva and let it shake me to orgasm.  (You don’t use the Hitachi to orgasm, it orgasms YOU.)  So even if a lot of the time I have to have a folded-up towel in between me and the Hitachi, it provides deep, rumbly vibrations to that huge surface area, which I absolutely adore.

Another great use for the Hitachi is for mornings like today’s, where I had to be out the door in five minutes, still hadn’t put on any makeup, and really, really wanted to get off before leaving.  Enter the Hitachi: I have come exactly 43.25 seconds later.  PERFECT.

Best of all are the instructions, seemingly unchanged from when the Hitachi was first marketed in the 70′s.  There’s the oft-cited “don’t use this on unexplained calf pain” warning (I would love to know why).  There’s also the “do not use for more than 30 minutes” warning, to which is hilariously appended “That should really be enough, anyway.”

Thanks to the lovely people over at Maturitoy for providing me with the Hitachi to review!

1. I should here note that any fears you might have about nerve damage or permanent desensitization should be allayed.  The rumors are grossly and irresponsibly exaggerated. [↩]
2. So do I *need* something as strong as the Hitachi to get off?  No.  Should that somehow detract from my enjoyment of the toy?  Hell no.  I would hope that we as a sex-blogging community would above all embrace the idea that it’s not any of our place to judge what toys someone uses to get off. [↩]

The Power’s Breaking Loose by vishstudio

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At this point, I own a lot of glass toys.  I’ve tried smooth glass toys, textured glass toys, straight glass toys, curved glass toys.  I am all over the glass toys.  So I feel pretty comfortable making judgments about individual toys.  The Chocolate Chip by Dream Toys Glassworks was sent to me by the awesome people over at Pinkcherry.com and is, in short, a totally serviceable and inexpensive glass dildo.  It didn’t rock my world or provide any sensations I haven’t felt before, but it performs solidly and at $30 won’t break anyone’s wallet.

Some things I really liked about the Chocolate Chip:

1) The head.  I like that the head of the dildo isn’t too pronounced.  On a lot of glass toys, the head is WAY bigger than the shaft, so sometime when you try to insert it you’re all like OMG OWWW.  I am happy to report that with the Chocolate Chip THIS DOES NOT HAPPEN!  The head of the Chocolate Chip is really tapered and easy to insert with a little lube, hooray!  It’s even got stylized notches on the underside as a nod to the real deal, but I couldn’t feel them during use.

2) The texture.  There are little black glass bumps, which, when the dildo is inserted, stimulate the entrance of the vagina.  They feel nice, and for me personally they were well placed and hit the right spots (but of course, anatomies differ and YMMV).

3) The handle.  There’s a double-blooped handle, which is really easy to hold on to for thrusting.  It’s not pronounced enough for me to declare this anal-safe, but it’s handy to have.  Alternatively, you could use the handle vaginally for a slightly girthier experience.

4) The packaging.  The Chocolate Chip comes packaged in a box that’s reminiscent of njoy packaging (did you know that there’s also a company called NJOY that makes “electronic cigarettes”?  I didn’t, until just now when I googled for the url and I’m still not really clear on what they are.  Weird).  The box is heavy cardboard and the interior is satiny-lined styrofoam.  The box also has two satiny ties, so you can secure the dildo and keep it from rolling around.  You also get an insert that shows all the other Dream Toys glass dildos.  This packaging is super classy and I would totally feel comfortable giving it as a gift to someone I felt comfortable gifting sex toys to.  Yes. 

Some things I wasn’t so thrilled about:

1) The imperfections.  I found some slight imperfections in the glass, mostly air bubbles in or around the colored bumps on the shaft.  Dream Toys’ dildos are inexpensive, and while this is great, it shows a little bit aesthetically.  Not enough to keep me from buying another toy from this manufacturer, but be aware that there may be some bubbles.

2) The curve.  The shaft IS curved, but only slightly.  In my opinion, this particular toy could stand to be a little more curved.  I like really curvy toys.

Other things to note (which are neither positive nor negative):

1) The girth.  I like the girth of this toy, but I like my dildos on the moderate-to-slim side.  So if you’re a size queen, be aware that this toy isn’t particularly thick (although, being glass, it feels larger than it actually is).  It’s no more than 1.25 inches in diameter at its widest point.

2) There has to be a 2, right?  I can’t just leave 1 hanging there or there’d have been no point in numbering this section AT ALL.  I will use this space to plug these.  They’d be awesome to use with this toy.

All in all, I think the Chocolate Chip is a great, affordable glass piece.  I own two more from the Dream Toys Glassworks line, and I have not been disappointed.  As a bonus, the Chocolate Chip does NOT come in a bag that smells weird!  So if you love glass but don’t want to shell out the big bucks, I would definitely check this out at Pinkcherry.

The Final Checklist:
Body-safe: ✔
Anal-safe: x
Textured: ✔
Oh so very affordable: ✔
Outspoken Clitic Rating: 8/10

via Mario M.M.

Welcome to Pleasurists, a round-up of the adult product and sex toy reviews that came out in the last seven days. For updates and information follow our RSS Feed and Twitter.

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Picture this: it’s Friday night chez moi.  I’ve got a huge party to go to Saturday night, so I figure I’ll stick around my apartment and relax.  At some point I decide it’s toy time, like you do.  I reach over to my bedside table and I grab my new Leo and my Eroscillator (which has permanent pride of place on my bedside table, it’s that good).  I flip the thing on to the first setting and…nothing.  I am confused.  I flip it back into the off position.  Then I try again.  Still nothing.  I push it up to the second setting and BAM, it springs to life.  Wait, what?  That’s right, the first setting has kicked it, but everything else was still working.  I don’t know what trickery of wiring made this particular malfunction possible.  Keep in mind that I am a wuss and I only ever use the thing on the first setting, very occasionally the second for short bursts, so this is a BRUTAL development.

In a fit of panic, I email the address given on the Eroscillator website.  Their returns page says they have a one-year warranty, but I’m not sure I qualify, since I purchased my Eroscillator from EdenFantasys, not directly from the manufacturer.  I emailed them on a Friday, and as I whinged to Epiphora on gchat, I wasn’t expecting a reply until Monday.  Well I WAS WRONG.  Sunday morning rolls around and there, in my inbox, is an email from Inge, saying they’d replace my beloved Eroscillator!  That I didn’t even buy from them!  On a Sunday!  She’s the best.¹

So, I sent it off post-haste (the Advanced Response Corp office is just across the city from me.  Maybe I should have just walked it there and saved myself some postage), and for the last week and a half I have been Eroscillator-less.  Woefully Eroscillator-less.  I mope around, glance at my Hitachi, and throw myself onto my couch in a fit of melancholy.  My lonely fingertip attachment has been sitting on my bedside table, gathering dust, waiting for its companion to return. All is misery and sadness at my apartment.  Much like a Russian novel, only warmer and with less vodka.

Until TODAY!  I came back from running, and in a blaze of glory, my doorman handed me a package that had come for me.  I clutched the package in the elevator, ripping off the tape before I get inside my apartment (I know, this was ill-advised, but I was truly crazed).  Inside the package–at this point I was safely inside my apartment–I found my new Eroscillator, which I promptly plugged in to find THREE WORKING SPEEDS!  Oh rapturous day! I chortled in my joy.

And now, with great happiness, I get to go back to using my favorite vibrator. All is right again with the world.

Not a review, but The Final Checklist:
THE ADVANCED RESPONSE CORP IS AWESOME: ✔

1. I emailed her from my personal email address, so she didn’t even know I was a reviewer/affiliate.  This is just the normal, totally awesome level of customer service. [↩]

Shy7734 by `Pelicanh

Welcome to Pleasurists, a round-up of the adult product and sex toy reviews that came out in the last seven days. For updates and information follow our RSS Feed and Twitter. (more…)

Look, I couldn’t figure out who I wanted to win, so I had to kill them both.  I am morbid like that.  Sorry.   And Niagara has apparently turned into Sawyer, calling everyone “Hoss” all the time.  Anyway.

A while ago, I asked Vixen Creations and Tantus if they would be willing to go for a comparison review of Vixskin and O2, IN THE NAME OF SCIENCE.  They readily agreed, and I was sent a Raquel and a Niagara (in pink, to match, to make it more science-y).  What can I say?  They’re both awesome.  Niagara is perhaps a bit more firm.  Raquel is a smidge squishier.  Niagara has some texture, but Raquel is completely smooth.  Niagara has a hole in the base for a bullet, which Raquel lacks.  Oh, and Niagara cannot stand up on its own, if for example you were trying to film it wearing a paper-and-electrical-tape cowboy hat in front of a desert scene drawn with crayon on a piece of cardboard cannibalized from the box your printer came in. In that situation you might have to try abut a million times to tape the back of the Niagara down so it would stay upright and finally give up in frustration and just hold the toy, doing your best to keep your fingers out of sight.  TANTUS THIS IS REALLY IMPORTANT AND YOU SHOULD FIX THIS PROBLEM, STAT.  On to the breakdown…

Raquel

I think if I had to pick only one of these two to use for the rest of my life, I would pick Raquel.  I really, really dig the squishiness.  The head on Raquel is a little bulgier than on Niagara, so it’s a champion g-spotter despite the squish.  I don’t mind so much that there’s no option to insert a bullet, but in a perfect world I’d like some texture on Raquel.  And for it to be blue.  Then it would be the ultimate dildo.  In sort, Vixskin rocks.  It just feels amazing.

Niagara

My favorite part of Niagara is that it’s textured.  There are some wavy bumps on the front of the toy that definitely liven up the experience.  I think the core-to-squishy-outer-part ratio is a little higher in O2 than in Vixskin: it’s stiffer, less bendable, and less squishy.  You still get the more realistic sensation that comes with the combo, but I think this toy would be great for someone looking for something with a little less give (or wants a dildo that has the vibration option).

The Showdown

My personal preference, after this monumental scientific test (if for the value of “scientific test” we substitute “completely subjective comparison review”), was for Vixskin.  But the dual-material look of Niagara, combined with the texture and the capacity for vibration may push it over the top for others.  Both Vixskin and O2 are going to provide a semi-realistic experience (more realistic feeling than other materials, but pink that has been seen cannot be unseen).  It’s all going to depend on what you’re looking for, and since both toys are the same size, both are pure silicone, and both are dual-density, it’s really going to come down to how you like your details.

Many thanks to Tantus and Vixen Creations for providing the cast of characters!

The Outspoken Clitic presents: The Tantus Goddess

Back in December, Trinity Romance sent me the Goddess to review (then my life blew up and I had to go into hiding for a while, and I’m sorry for the lateness).  Anyway, they not only sent me this high quality silicone Tantus dildo, but they sent it wrapped in tissue paper, with a holiday card.  It totally rocked, and they are awesome.  If you haven’t checked them out, you should: they’re a really cute outfit in Squamish, British Columbia.

Let me preface this review by stating: I have become a texture enthusiast.  Smooth toys are still a’ight, but texture is where it’s at for me.  I have not, however, become a girth enthusiast (despite my best efforts).  I can only handle the smaller end of my Eleven with SERIOUS warm up, and I can’t cope with the larger end at all.  I like texture, and I tend to go for smaller-to-medium-sized toys: those are my biases, stated up front for all to see.

Given my preferences, the Goddess is like a freaking dream toy.  It’s not particularly girthy (Tantus’ website states that it is 1.55 inches in diameter, but it is in fact smaller than that, around 1.43 inches).¹ and the entire length (6.25 inches)² is heavily ridged.  These ridges are not subtle.  They stick out, they scream, they demand your attention, and they feel wonderful.  There are two largish bumps about an inch down from the very top, and, just, wow.  Aside from those two bumps, there are a few ridges on the head and wave-like ridges that radiate out from the front all along the shaft of the toy.  If you like texture, you will love this.  You will use it all the time.

Figure 1: Shot from above to illustrate relative size of the Goddess and the Leo, both given as 1.5 inches in diameter.

Figure 2: The Goddess is definitely skinnier than the Leo. It is annoying when measurements are not accurate.

The Goddess also has a hole in the base, into which can be placed a standard silver bullet (included!).  I never use these bullets.  They’re too hard to remove afterward (yes, even if you lube up the bullet before you stick it in the toy) and I find using a separate clit vibrator to be more enjoyable anyway.  But the option is there if you want it.  I usually just stick my index finger in the hole and then have an exaggeratedly long dildo-finger to point at things in my apartment with.  What?

So, to sum up: if you’re like me (thumbs up: texture, thumbs down: extreme girth), you’ll love this toy.  If you loath texture or are a size queen, you probably won’t be satisfied by the Goddess.  Oh, and it collects dust/particles like a mofo, which no one likes, but such is life.  It’s a nice, reasonably-sized dildo, and as such the texture doesn’t get overwhelming or painful.  It has become one of my favorites, so I think you should pick one up at Trinity Romance.

In case you are in a hurry and/or are too lazy to read the whole review, I am now including handy checklists to sum up each of my reviews.  Voila!

Final Checklist:
Body Safe: ✔
Harness compatible: ✔
Anal Safe: ✔
Tons of texture: ✔
Reasonable Girth: ✔
Outspoken Clitic Rating: 10/10 (There is really nothing wrong with this toy unless you hate fun.)

I leave you with this:

Hey guys, watch me point out that sweet balcony over there! I hope my neighbors aren't watching.

1. I measured the widest point of the toy with a tape measure and the circumference is 4.5 inches, which means that the diameter is only about 1.43 inches (using a value for pi of 3.14: I’m lazy, so sue me). This explains why it looks so much smaller than the Leo pictured above: despite the fact that Leo is also listed by Vixen as being 1.5 inches in diameter, it is actually closer to 1.6 (I measured a circumference of 5 inches). Now I’m kind of annoyed that everyone seems to round up or down to 1.5 inches, resulting in a lot of real-life variation. From this point on I’ll take all my own measurements for reviews. [↩]
2. This measurement is accurate. [↩]