I tried to turn you on last week,
You’ve been my favorite for a year.
But your silence caused me to shriek,
And the problem provoked much fear.
Oh no! I cried in disbelief,
My beloved plaything has died!
Desperately desiring relief,
I emailed your maker and sighed.
Of course, they said, send it on back,
We shall honor the warranty.
Hooray! I screamed, began to pack,
And I shipped you off happily!
Stay tuned for the thrilling conclusion, which will probably be in prose and will probably contain less melodrama (no guarantees, though).
[Images in this post are in homage to this site, which you should totally check out because she's way funnier than me.]