Review: Hitachi Magic Wand for Maturitoy
16 Jul
The Hitachi needs no introduction, no special photo, no video. You’ve all seen it. Lots of you own it. This is no milquetoast toy: it engenders strong opinions in everyone, both of deep, unending love or of abject terror. Some of you have unjustified disdain for those who use it.1 It is ubiquitous.
The Hitachi is not the prettiest girl in the room. It’s not quiet. It’s not small. It’s not discreet. There’s a reason it’s called the “Cadillac of vibrators”: back in the day, Cadillacs were the cars that thought they were houses. I guess you could pretend that you’re using it for its intended purpose, as a back massager, but by this point most people know what the deal is.
Now, I hear you. Right now your are rolling your eyes towards the heavens and lamenting, “oh, laughter-loving and high-crowned Aphrodite, do we really need another Hitachi Magic Wand review?” It’s not that I’m not sympathetic to your annoyance. It’s just that I’m going to keep going anyway.
You see, I think I have a slightly different perspective to offer on the Hitachi. It is often bandied about that the Hitachi is great for women who have the ol’ clit o’steel, for women who have trouble having an orgasm with a partner or with a less powerful toy. While this is most assuredly true, I would like to submit that the Hitachi is also great for those of us who have more wussy clits. I have the wussiest clit in all of existence.2 I like super diffuse vibrations. The Hitachi is great for this, actually: I can actually position it so it’s not even touching my clit, but rather lower part of my vulva and let it shake me to orgasm. (You don’t use the Hitachi to orgasm, it orgasms YOU.) So even if a lot of the time I have to have a folded-up towel in between me and the Hitachi, it provides deep, rumbly vibrations to that huge surface area, which I absolutely adore.
Another great use for the Hitachi is for mornings like today’s, where I had to be out the door in five minutes, still hadn’t put on any makeup, and really, really wanted to get off before leaving. Enter the Hitachi: I have come exactly 43.25 seconds later. PERFECT.
Best of all are the instructions, seemingly unchanged from when the Hitachi was first marketed in the 70′s. There’s the oft-cited “don’t use this on unexplained calf pain” warning (I would love to know why). There’s also the “do not use for more than 30 minutes” warning, to which is hilariously appended “That should really be enough, anyway.”
Thanks to the lovely people over at Maturitoy for providing me with the Hitachi to review!
- I should here note that any fears you might have about nerve damage or permanent desensitization should be allayed. The rumors are grossly and irresponsibly exaggerated. [↩]
- So do I *need* something as strong as the Hitachi to get off? No. Should that somehow detract from my enjoyment of the toy? Hell no. I would hope that we as a sex-blogging community would above all embrace the idea that it’s not any of our place to judge what toys someone uses to get off. [↩]
I think unexplained calf pain could often be a blood clot. Shaking it loose with a vibrator would let it wander all over your circulation, totally FUBARing whatever organ it lands in, including brain or heart.
Excellent point! Google tells me that the calf is the most likely place for deep vein thrombosis. Question answered, thanks!
Yes! I like to hold it not directly on my clit as well. It’s more pleasurable that way.
How did I miss this review?
You’ve gotten me interested in the Hitachi now. I avoided it because I thought it would be way too much for me.
I really want a Hitachi. Everyone loves theirs. I want to love one too damn it!
I want one too! It’s on Amazon for $19.50. Hmmmmmm…