Holiday Wishlist December 15, 2009
Well, finals are now over and I have time to post again! Somewhat belatedly, I decided to participate in the holiday wishlist meme.
Here are the steps (via Epiphora):
1) Make a post listing your wishes. If you wish for real possible things, make sure you include some sort of contact info.
2) Visit the lists of others. If you see a wish you can grant, and it’s in your heart to do so, make someone’s wish come true.
3) You needn’t spend money on these wishes unless you want to. The point isn’t to put people out, it’s to provide everyone a chance to spread the joy. Gifts can be made anonymously or not — it’s your call.
It’s probably easier for me to just link to her post, since she’s got a list going of other people with wishlists! Head over and check it out.
My Wishlist:
I’m actually pretty simple this year. I’m going to be moving again in the spring, so I’m trying not to accumulate as much stuff as in past years. So:
1) Anything off of my sex toy wishlist (this is always much appreciated).
2) More importantly, I’d like anyone who has experience with trauma and PTSD to let me know that I’m going to feel OK eventually. I’m really, really struggling at the moment.
That’s pretty much it. I’m really looking for some hope this holiday season.
Oh, also, if you can make it NOT GET DARK AT 4:15 PM IN BOSTON, that’d be awesome, too.
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I can’t grant any of them unfortunately, but I hope someone can do #2. Also, I wish it didn’t get dark so early as well. It’s annoying as hell.
Your list makes me sad. I hope someone can help you with #2. I have the link to your wishlist, but you should add it to the post for others to see.
Hugs to you. I sincerely feel that things *will* get better for you. At the very least you can rejoice in the fact that after Monday, the days start getting longer again. Hey, it’s the little things….
A little Google searching found that the national center for PTSD is located in Boston. Although run by Vetrans Affairs, they say they also help “others”. Maybe they can direct you to a support group that can help to reassure you? Might be worth a call: http://www.ptsd.va.gov/index.asp
Good luck. I hope you find your help.
Oh – and I found these too:
PTSD Online forum: http://www.ptsdforum.org/
PTSD Support Group: http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Post-Traumatic-Stress-Disorder/support-group
List of PTSD support resources: http://psychcentral.com/resources/Post-traumatic_Stress/Support_Groups/
I hope that reaching out to others who are also coping will help you through your healing. Hugs.
I have a few of the items on your wishlist, although they are slightly used
Other than that, I wish you the best and know you will get through what you are going through. Sometimes it is very hard when you are in a situation to see yourself clear, but everything evolves and changes and no matter how bad something seems at the time, we can move on and heal. Try to keep a mantra that things will change, including the feelings you are experiencing right now. I don’t know what trauma you have been through, but I have been through some fairly horrible experiences and am here if you need to talk. Take care… HUGS Domina
PS- email about the toys if interested or to chat
domina (a) femmesfatale.com
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It sounds like you’ve already received some intensive treatment, and that is good. I will assume it involved EMDR, which is a trauma treatment. If it did not, I would suggest looking for a therapist that is trained in it. If you have not found an advocate that is trained in domestic violence, they’re usually available at any DV center and I highly recommend it. They have a specialized understanding of the patterns of abuse, which is really helpful. They may also have support groups for survivors there, which are also invaluable.
There are two great resources I’d recommend for abuse survivors, both of which I used extensively with my clients (I worked as a therapist at a center for survivors of domestic violence). The first, I consider a must read for ANYONE that’s dealt with an abuser. In fact, I’m such a fan of it, I personally GAVE a copy to every single client I saw, and I cite it on my blog in almost every post that I do on DV. It’s called “Why Does He Do That: Inside The Minds of Angry and Controlling Men” by Lundy Bancroft. It’s seriously the most amazing resource on abusive personalities that I’ve ever encountered. It’s here: http://www.amazon.com/Why-Does-He-That-Controlling/dp/0425191656
I’d also recommend “Healing the Trauma of Domestic Violence.” It’s a workbook for survivors of DV suffering from PTSD. It has some AMAZING information. It’s here: http://www.amazon.com/Healing-Trauma-Domestic-Violence-Harbinger/dp/1572243694
You WILL be okay. But it’s not easy, and it takes time. You’ve been through something that’s so outside of the realm of normal human experience. It’s not your fault, and it sucks that even though you’ve removed yourself from his control, he’s still able to control you through the effects of his abuse. Sometimes, thinking of it like that can help lessen some of the PTSD symptoms. If you feel jumpy or anxious in a random situation, telling yourself that by feeling that way, you’re still allowing him to control you can have an empowering effect that can make you determined *not* to let it happen anymore. I’m sure you’ve been taught about grounding techniques to remind yourself that you’re safe. If not, you can read about them here: http://ptsd.about.com/od/selfhelp/a/flashcoping.htm
I just want you to know that I’m sorry for what you’ve been through, but I think you’re absolutely amazing for talking about it. Really and truly. It is nothing to be ashamed of, and you’re stronger than you know. You’ve been through some really difficult stuff, and you’re still here, surviving, thriving, and overcoming. You’re incredible. <3
I wrote A LOT on DV for DV awareness month. All my DV posts are here, if you ever want to read them.
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I’m not sure what happened with you in regard to #2 but as someone who has experience with trauma and PTSD, it will eventually get easier. Just don’t ignore it and don’t hope it will go away. I struggled a lot and still struggle more than I’d like. Some days I feel like I never made any progress at all. It sucks but things do and will get better. ((hugs))
I hope someone who can afford to grabs something off your #1 for you.