Posts Tagged ‘Varia’



I just got paid.  What’s the first thing I do?  Buy some new toys!  I also finally bought an Eneloop rechargeable battery set, which I’m ridiculously excited about.

I know I’ve been kind of silent these past few days; I’ve been overwhelmed with grading (my class is up to 120 and I’m the only TA).  But there will be new reviews coming soon, I promise!


Bad Vibes!!!


I just found this, via Erin Leone. It’s called the Coalition Against Toxic Toys, or CATT.  This is a fantastic resource for learning about and avoiding unsafe toy materials. The site is affiliated with Smitten Kitten and provides lots of resources, so I suggest you check both out!


Community Issues

Oh the heels of the publication of the 2008 Best Sex Toy Reviewers (on which I was flattered to find myself listed!), there were a few posts around the community lamenting the plethora of reviews and the perceived lack of “real” sex blogging.  These posts were pretty offensive, in my opinion, since they failed to account for diversity of preferences and drive within the community.  The “fact” that there are too many sex toy reviews is treated as a foregone conclusion we must agree with.  I don’t.

The value of the sex toy community to sex toy retailers has also been ludicrously overestimated.  Sure, it’s some free advertising, but I’d be willing to bet a moderate-to-large amount of money that the revenue these sex toy retailers see come in from sex blogs is but a tiny, tiny percentage of their overall revenue.  We’re not that profitable, so we should probably get over ourselves.  Is it good to only review for safe, sex-positive, feminist retailers?  Absolutely.  As a community, we should definitely be voting with our feet (or credit cards) on that issue: but let’s not pretend it’s going to make a huge difference or drive the somehow undesirable companies out of business.

I started this blog so that I could have a venue to separate the good parts of sex from the bad parts of sex (my ex) after a horrible abusive relationship that has already cost me years of happiness and will take more before I’m well again.  I started this blog with the intent to review toys, exclusively.  I find real sex triggering.  Does it follow that I’m less of a sex blogger because I don’t write about actual sex?  Or that I don’t blog about my personal life?  I’d like to think not.  But it’s the height of hubris for someone else to assume that they know what’s best for me to be writing about on my own blog.  If you want to write more about sexuality, go ahead.  There’s no reason that anyone else should have to just because you think it’s better.  Communities are diverse places, and trying to get everyone to do the same thing strangles them.

But anyway, I’m not going to be able to say it better than Epiphora already has, so head on over to her place and check it out.  Sex toy reviewers: keep on reviewing, and ignore people who think they somehow know better than you what should go on YOUR blog.  On the flip side: don’t like what someone else does with their blog?  Don’t call them “less”, just do something different.  End of story.


Are there 25 Interesting Things About Me?


You be the judge!

1) I’m viciously asthmatic and I’m allergic to most trees, grasses, dust mites, and a lot of perfumes.  For most of my life I’ve been on weekly allergy desensitization shots.  It’s good times.

2) My esophagus doesn’t work, at all: I have a condition called achalasia and had to have surgery when I was in high school so I could eat.

3) I somehow managed to catch Whooping Cough when I was a sophomore in high school, despite the fact that I’d been vaccinated as a child.  That was fun.

4) Natural selection has been out to get me since I was born (see 1, 2, and 3) and for the good of humanity I should probably never reproduce.

5) In high school I competed on an international level in rowing, asthma be damned.

6) I biked from across the USA last summer with two broken elbows.  I’d never ridden a road bike before and while training before the trip I struggled with clipless pedals (fell a few times)…  I desperately want to bike cross-country again, but I’m not sure if I’ll have the time.

7) Missouri is hands down my least favorite state in the Union.

8 ) My favorite states (that I biked through) are Oklahoma and New Mexico.  Oklahoma was great because it was flat and had lots of sunflower fields.  New Mexico is just gorgeous.

9) I know a LOT of dead languages (like, a lot).

10) I study the development of languages over time as a profession.  By figuring out how the brain makes mistakes during acquisition (these mistakes lead to change), you can figure out how your brain is computing language, which I think is awesome.  Also, since some types of language change are systematic, you can actually reconstruct how people talked 8-10 thousand years ago (you have to work backwards from related dead languages).  I think that’s pretty freaking cool, which is why I’m getting a PhD.

11) My favorite dead languages are Old Irish, Greek, Hittite, Egyptian, and Akkadian.

12) I really enjoy being able to show off in museums by reading inscriptions.

13) I have three younger siblings (two sisters and a brother).  My brother is the youngest and  I’ve become that older sister that buys her younger brother presents for no reason.  (To be fair, though, I have been known to buy the sisters random stuff for no reason.)

14) I’m half-Lebanese.

15) I lived in Cairo for a few months, but my Arabic is still pretty sad.  I’d kill to be natively bilingual.

16) One of my little sisters is going to be an archaeologist.

17) I live with three roommates who are going progressively more insane (or maybe they were always insane and I’m just now noticing).  And it’s not entertaining insane, either.

18) My high school boyfriend owned a jacket that looked just like Michael Jackson’s in the ‘Beat It’ video.  This ex-boyfriend turned out fine, though.

19) I have a lot of body image issues I’m working through.

20) I’m also working through PTSD from an abusive relationship and can’t use/review/deal with realistic sex toys.

21) I love Mystery Science Theater 3000 and wish it was still running.

22) I’m a HUGE Joss Whedon fan.

23) I’ll eat anything with coconut in it.

24) I’m running out of things to say.

25) I went to a party at a fellow grad student’s house last night.  On the way, I slipped on the ridiculous amount of ice we have here, fell on my bag which contained a bottle of wine for the party, broke said bottle of wine, and ruined my bag and everything in it (RIP, phone).  I fortunately managed not to be speared in the side with broken glass.


This is me



So, it occurred to me tonight that I’ve never been in a relationship where I’ve been treated well. All of the men I’ve had relationships of one sort or another with were very nice to me when we were friends (one was my very good friend for years); they were and are nice to other people who aren’t me. In all other spheres of my life, I’m a pretty good judge of character. It just seems that whenever someone gets into a relationship with me, the inevitable result is that within a few weeks to a month they become indifferent and want to get rid of me or, most recently, one became abusive and cruel. The only person I’ve ever had sex with (or been in love with) was the abusive one, which make me really not want to have sex with anyone else, ever.

I’m hesitant to say this is a problem with “men”: I see lots of other women in perfectly nice relationships where their boyfriend/husband is kind to them. My parents have a very happy, loving relationship. So I guess there’s a problem with me. I don’t know what it is: I try to be a nice person, I like to have fun, I’ve never been particularly clingy (although I’m so fucked up now, who knows).  Am I just not pretty or skinny enough?  I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. I wish I could figure out what’s wrong with me.



Welcome to the new digs!  This is still somewhat under construction, and kinks obviously have to be worked out, but I hope you like it!  An explanation of the new name can be found on the “About” page.

I’ll be trying to clean things up over the next couple of days.  Let me know what you think!



In which I am interviewed by the lovely Miss KissThis:
1. What is the best gift you’ve ever been given, and why? And the worst?
The best gift I’ve ever been given, hands down, was a six-foot long, iron tipped spear from the mom of a friend for my college graduation. I majored in Classics, and this friend and I had a running joke about me doing all sorts of “classical” things like dressing up in armor and walking around campus (which I never did, by the way). His mom’s family runs a landfill, and someone apparently threw this awesome spear out, so she grabbed it and they gave it to me for graduation. They followed it up this past Christmas with a Greek-style bronze helmet! All I need now are greaves and I’ll be all set.
The worst gift… I dunno. Probably some generic bath products from someone who didn’t really put any thought into it. That happens a lot in middle school.

2. What is one sexual thing that you have never done but want to do?
This is going to sound totally lame, but the I really want to be able to spend the night with someone I’m in love with. With my ex, circumstances made is such that I could go over to his place and we’d have sex, but I’d always have to leave afterwards.

3. Pick one deceased famous person to bring back to life. Who are they, and why did you pick them?
Hmmm….I think I’d probably bring back Hammurabi. He was a total neurotic mess and micro-manager, which I think is hilarious. We’d probably get along really well.
Also possibly Aaron Burr. He was an alumnus of my university, and as we like to say there, “Alexander Hamilton had it coming.”

4. Describe the time and place of your best sexual encounter.
I lost my virginity at a conference, in a hotel room where the power had gone out. (The hotel was in Ohio, but that’s not all that great, haha.) My ex was very gentle and affectionate, and it was the nicest time I’ve ever had.

5. What is the very first website you check when you get online, and why?
I’d say the websites I check immediately (with the exception of my gmail, of course), are Shakesville and ThinkProgress. I’m an outspoken feminist and political news junkie, and during the election I was checking these sites (and others) literally every ten minutes.

Want to be part of it? Follow these instructions:
1. Leave me a comment saying, “Interview me.”
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.


Exams Blah

Well, I’m back from break, and since my university is one of the few that has finals *after* break, I have returned to a long, painful slog of text production.  That’s right: papers.  Like, six of them.

Urgh.  Wish me luck.  I’m sure I’ll be around plenty (procrastination!!!).



So, I bought a LELO Iris and Nea off of ebay, and the seller seems to have taken my money and run. Doesn’t really look like there’s anything I can do about it, either. I am NOT pleased.

Update: The good folks at eBay have given me the money I lost towards a future purchase, so everything seems to have worked out alright in the end. :-)  I honestly wasn’t expecting them to do anything, so it was a nice surprise.