The Outspoken Clitic

Hi, everyone.  I’m back from vacation.  Unfortunately, almost as soon as I got back, my grandmother decided to come visit.  Now, this woman owns the apartment I’m living in, and allows me to live in it rent-free.  For this I am very grateful.  However, she also fits many of the DSM-IV criteria for sociopathy.  She cannot see people as anything other than objects to be manipulated, and therefore has been in many of her previous relationships abusive at worst and manipulative/controlling at best.  My father had to flee to another continent to get away from her when he was a teenager.

So now she’s here, initially for a week but now thinking about staying longer.  It’s her apartment, so she can stay as long as she’d like.  But she’s already reduced me to tears twice in the five days she’s been here, and has had me anxious and stressed for the rest of the time.  So I’m just spending my time out of the apartment.  As you can imagine, it’s pretty stressful.  I already have PTSD from an abusive relationship, so I’m finding this exceptionally difficult to manage.  I’m considering couch-surfing at friends’ places for the duration of her visit.

Oh, and my phone was stolen today. It’s good times.

I’ll be back to a regular posting schedule once she leaves and lets me have my life back.  Hopefully that’s sooner rather than later.

NOW HEAR THIS:

My internet presence will be a little sparse for the next 2.5 weeks.  I am at the beach.

As you were.

You head me wax on before about the Hitachi Magic Wand recently, but what about the hot new kid on the block, the Fairy Mini Mini?¹ A few people have even preferred it to the Hitachi!  How does this toy measure up for us super sensitive (or, if you prefer, wussy) people?  Thanks to the good people over at MyPleasure, I can now tell you.

Pros

There are some really awesome things about the Fairy Mini Mini.  First and foremost amongst these things is the dial.  That’s right, you now have a choice between “high” and “excruciatingly high”!  The dial allows you to choose your level of power, and I ended up mostly on the lower end of the spectrum.  This tiny thing puts out a terrifying amount of power.

Another pro is that the Fairy Mini Mini is, as the name implies, rather small.  It can be used either with a plug-in wall cord or a plug-in battery pack, so it can be portable and travel-friendly, too.  It is not a huge hulking heavy thing like the Hitachi.

Cons

It has pink detailing all over it.  Hurl.

The head is small.  Part of the reason I like the Hitachi is that the head is huge, and with a towel in between me and it I can have the vibrations diffuse all over.  The same kind of use isn’t really possible with the Fairy Mini Mini.  The head is much better for pinpoint stimulation, which I can’t really tolerate, especially with the kind of power this thing puts out.

It sounds like a spaceship taking off.

Like with so many toys, personal preference is going to make or break the experience.  If you like pinpoint clit stimulation, you will love this toy, especially since the power level is so customizable.

Thanks to MyPleasure!

Final Checklist:
Tiny: ✔
Travel-Friendly: ✔
Devoid of Pink: x
Crazy Amounts of Power: ✔
Outspoken Clitic Rating: 8/10

1. Before you say anything, I know that MyPleasure calls it the Fairy Mini.  There’s a larger sibling to this toy that’s also called the Fairy Mini.  I’ve given up trying to figure out the intended names for these things. [↩]

The Old Passion by ~JogiART

Welcome to Pleasurists, a round-up of the adult product and sex toy reviews that came out in the last seven days. For updates and information follow our RSS Feed and Twitter.

Did you miss Pleasurists #86? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #88? Be sure to read our submission guidelines and then use our submission form and submit it before Sunday July 18th at 11:59pm PDT.

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The Hitachi needs no introduction, no special photo, no video.  You’ve all seen it.  Lots of you own it.  This is no milquetoast toy: it engenders strong opinions in everyone, both of deep, unending love or of abject terror.  Some of you have unjustified disdain for those who use it.¹ It is ubiquitous.

The Hitachi is not the prettiest girl in the room.  It’s not quiet.  It’s not small.  It’s not discreet.  There’s a reason it’s called the “Cadillac of vibrators”: back in the day, Cadillacs were the cars that thought they were houses.  I guess you could pretend that you’re using it for its intended purpose, as a back massager, but by this point most people know what the deal is.

Now, I hear you.  Right now your are rolling your eyes towards the heavens and lamenting, “oh, laughter-loving and high-crowned Aphrodite,  do we really need another Hitachi Magic Wand review?” It’s not that I’m not sympathetic to your annoyance.  It’s just that I’m going to keep going anyway.

You see, I think I have a slightly different perspective to offer on the Hitachi.  It is often bandied about that the Hitachi is great for women who have the ol’ clit o’steel, for women who have trouble having an orgasm with a partner or with a less powerful toy.  While this is most assuredly true, I would like to submit that the Hitachi is also great for those of us who have more wussy clits.  I have the wussiest clit in all of existence.² I like super diffuse vibrations.  The Hitachi is great for this, actually: I can actually position it so it’s not even touching my clit, but rather lower part of my vulva and let it shake me to orgasm.  (You don’t use the Hitachi to orgasm, it orgasms YOU.)  So even if a lot of the time I have to have a folded-up towel in between me and the Hitachi, it provides deep, rumbly vibrations to that huge surface area, which I absolutely adore.

Another great use for the Hitachi is for mornings like today’s, where I had to be out the door in five minutes, still hadn’t put on any makeup, and really, really wanted to get off before leaving.  Enter the Hitachi: I have come exactly 43.25 seconds later.  PERFECT.

Best of all are the instructions, seemingly unchanged from when the Hitachi was first marketed in the 70′s.  There’s the oft-cited “don’t use this on unexplained calf pain” warning (I would love to know why).  There’s also the “do not use for more than 30 minutes” warning, to which is hilariously appended “That should really be enough, anyway.”

Thanks to the lovely people over at Maturitoy for providing me with the Hitachi to review!

1. I should here note that any fears you might have about nerve damage or permanent desensitization should be allayed.  The rumors are grossly and irresponsibly exaggerated. [↩]
2. So do I *need* something as strong as the Hitachi to get off?  No.  Should that somehow detract from my enjoyment of the toy?  Hell no.  I would hope that we as a sex-blogging community would above all embrace the idea that it’s not any of our place to judge what toys someone uses to get off. [↩]

The Power’s Breaking Loose by vishstudio

Welcome to Pleasurists, a round-up of the adult product and sex toy reviews that came out in the last seven days. For updates and information follow our RSS Feed and Twitter.

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At this point, I own a lot of glass toys.  I’ve tried smooth glass toys, textured glass toys, straight glass toys, curved glass toys.  I am all over the glass toys.  So I feel pretty comfortable making judgments about individual toys.  The Chocolate Chip by Dream Toys Glassworks was sent to me by the awesome people over at Pinkcherry.com and is, in short, a totally serviceable and inexpensive glass dildo.  It didn’t rock my world or provide any sensations I haven’t felt before, but it performs solidly and at $30 won’t break anyone’s wallet.

Some things I really liked about the Chocolate Chip:

1) The head.  I like that the head of the dildo isn’t too pronounced.  On a lot of glass toys, the head is WAY bigger than the shaft, so sometime when you try to insert it you’re all like OMG OWWW.  I am happy to report that with the Chocolate Chip THIS DOES NOT HAPPEN!  The head of the Chocolate Chip is really tapered and easy to insert with a little lube, hooray!  It’s even got stylized notches on the underside as a nod to the real deal, but I couldn’t feel them during use.

2) The texture.  There are little black glass bumps, which, when the dildo is inserted, stimulate the entrance of the vagina.  They feel nice, and for me personally they were well placed and hit the right spots (but of course, anatomies differ and YMMV).

3) The handle.  There’s a double-blooped handle, which is really easy to hold on to for thrusting.  It’s not pronounced enough for me to declare this anal-safe, but it’s handy to have.  Alternatively, you could use the handle vaginally for a slightly girthier experience.

4) The packaging.  The Chocolate Chip comes packaged in a box that’s reminiscent of njoy packaging (did you know that there’s also a company called NJOY that makes “electronic cigarettes”?  I didn’t, until just now when I googled for the url and I’m still not really clear on what they are.  Weird).  The box is heavy cardboard and the interior is satiny-lined styrofoam.  The box also has two satiny ties, so you can secure the dildo and keep it from rolling around.  You also get an insert that shows all the other Dream Toys glass dildos.  This packaging is super classy and I would totally feel comfortable giving it as a gift to someone I felt comfortable gifting sex toys to.  Yes. 

Some things I wasn’t so thrilled about:

1) The imperfections.  I found some slight imperfections in the glass, mostly air bubbles in or around the colored bumps on the shaft.  Dream Toys’ dildos are inexpensive, and while this is great, it shows a little bit aesthetically.  Not enough to keep me from buying another toy from this manufacturer, but be aware that there may be some bubbles.

2) The curve.  The shaft IS curved, but only slightly.  In my opinion, this particular toy could stand to be a little more curved.  I like really curvy toys.

Other things to note (which are neither positive nor negative):

1) The girth.  I like the girth of this toy, but I like my dildos on the moderate-to-slim side.  So if you’re a size queen, be aware that this toy isn’t particularly thick (although, being glass, it feels larger than it actually is).  It’s no more than 1.25 inches in diameter at its widest point.

2) There has to be a 2, right?  I can’t just leave 1 hanging there or there’d have been no point in numbering this section AT ALL.  I will use this space to plug these.  They’d be awesome to use with this toy.

All in all, I think the Chocolate Chip is a great, affordable glass piece.  I own two more from the Dream Toys Glassworks line, and I have not been disappointed.  As a bonus, the Chocolate Chip does NOT come in a bag that smells weird!  So if you love glass but don’t want to shell out the big bucks, I would definitely check this out at Pinkcherry.

The Final Checklist:
Body-safe: ✔
Anal-safe: x
Textured: ✔
Oh so very affordable: ✔
Outspoken Clitic Rating: 8/10

via Mario M.M.

Welcome to Pleasurists, a round-up of the adult product and sex toy reviews that came out in the last seven days. For updates and information follow our RSS Feed and Twitter.

Did you miss Pleasurists #83? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #85? Be sure to read our submission guidelines and then use our submission form and submit it before Sunday July 4th at 11:59pm PDT. (more…)

Picture this: it’s Friday night chez moi.  I’ve got a huge party to go to Saturday night, so I figure I’ll stick around my apartment and relax.  At some point I decide it’s toy time, like you do.  I reach over to my bedside table and I grab my new Leo and my Eroscillator (which has permanent pride of place on my bedside table, it’s that good).  I flip the thing on to the first setting and…nothing.  I am confused.  I flip it back into the off position.  Then I try again.  Still nothing.  I push it up to the second setting and BAM, it springs to life.  Wait, what?  That’s right, the first setting has kicked it, but everything else was still working.  I don’t know what trickery of wiring made this particular malfunction possible.  Keep in mind that I am a wuss and I only ever use the thing on the first setting, very occasionally the second for short bursts, so this is a BRUTAL development.

In a fit of panic, I email the address given on the Eroscillator website.  Their returns page says they have a one-year warranty, but I’m not sure I qualify, since I purchased my Eroscillator from EdenFantasys, not directly from the manufacturer.  I emailed them on a Friday, and as I whinged to Epiphora on gchat, I wasn’t expecting a reply until Monday.  Well I WAS WRONG.  Sunday morning rolls around and there, in my inbox, is an email from Inge, saying they’d replace my beloved Eroscillator!  That I didn’t even buy from them!  On a Sunday!  She’s the best.¹

So, I sent it off post-haste (the Advanced Response Corp office is just across the city from me.  Maybe I should have just walked it there and saved myself some postage), and for the last week and a half I have been Eroscillator-less.  Woefully Eroscillator-less.  I mope around, glance at my Hitachi, and throw myself onto my couch in a fit of melancholy.  My lonely fingertip attachment has been sitting on my bedside table, gathering dust, waiting for its companion to return. All is misery and sadness at my apartment.  Much like a Russian novel, only warmer and with less vodka.

Until TODAY!  I came back from running, and in a blaze of glory, my doorman handed me a package that had come for me.  I clutched the package in the elevator, ripping off the tape before I get inside my apartment (I know, this was ill-advised, but I was truly crazed).  Inside the package–at this point I was safely inside my apartment–I found my new Eroscillator, which I promptly plugged in to find THREE WORKING SPEEDS!  Oh rapturous day! I chortled in my joy.

And now, with great happiness, I get to go back to using my favorite vibrator. All is right again with the world.

Not a review, but The Final Checklist:
THE ADVANCED RESPONSE CORP IS AWESOME: ✔

1. I emailed her from my personal email address, so she didn’t even know I was a reviewer/affiliate.  This is just the normal, totally awesome level of customer service. [↩]

Shy7734 by `Pelicanh

Welcome to Pleasurists, a round-up of the adult product and sex toy reviews that came out in the last seven days. For updates and information follow our RSS Feed and Twitter. (more…)