The Outspoken Clitic

At this point, I own a lot of glass toys.  I’ve tried smooth glass toys, textured glass toys, straight glass toys, curved glass toys.  I am all over the glass toys.  So I feel pretty comfortable making judgments about individual toys.  The Chocolate Chip by Dream Toys Glassworks was sent to me by the awesome people over at Pinkcherry.com and is, in short, a totally serviceable and inexpensive glass dildo.  It didn’t rock my world or provide any sensations I haven’t felt before, but it performs solidly and at $30 won’t break anyone’s wallet.

Some things I really liked about the Chocolate Chip:

1) The head.  I like that the head of the dildo isn’t too pronounced.  On a lot of glass toys, the head is WAY bigger than the shaft, so sometime when you try to insert it you’re all like OMG OWWW.  I am happy to report that with the Chocolate Chip THIS DOES NOT HAPPEN!  The head of the Chocolate Chip is really tapered and easy to insert with a little lube, hooray!  It’s even got stylized notches on the underside as a nod to the real deal, but I couldn’t feel them during use.

2) The texture.  There are little black glass bumps, which, when the dildo is inserted, stimulate the entrance of the vagina.  They feel nice, and for me personally they were well placed and hit the right spots (but of course, anatomies differ and YMMV).

3) The handle.  There’s a double-blooped handle, which is really easy to hold on to for thrusting.  It’s not pronounced enough for me to declare this anal-safe, but it’s handy to have.  Alternatively, you could use the handle vaginally for a slightly girthier experience.

4) The packaging.  The Chocolate Chip comes packaged in a box that’s reminiscent of njoy packaging (did you know that there’s also a company called NJOY that makes “electronic cigarettes”?  I didn’t, until just now when I googled for the url and I’m still not really clear on what they are.  Weird).  The box is heavy cardboard and the interior is satiny-lined styrofoam.  The box also has two satiny ties, so you can secure the dildo and keep it from rolling around.  You also get an insert that shows all the other Dream Toys glass dildos.  This packaging is super classy and I would totally feel comfortable giving it as a gift to someone I felt comfortable gifting sex toys to.  Yes. 

Some things I wasn’t so thrilled about:

1) The imperfections.  I found some slight imperfections in the glass, mostly air bubbles in or around the colored bumps on the shaft.  Dream Toys’ dildos are inexpensive, and while this is great, it shows a little bit aesthetically.  Not enough to keep me from buying another toy from this manufacturer, but be aware that there may be some bubbles.

2) The curve.  The shaft IS curved, but only slightly.  In my opinion, this particular toy could stand to be a little more curved.  I like really curvy toys.

Other things to note (which are neither positive nor negative):

1) The girth.  I like the girth of this toy, but I like my dildos on the moderate-to-slim side.  So if you’re a size queen, be aware that this toy isn’t particularly thick (although, being glass, it feels larger than it actually is).  It’s no more than 1.25 inches in diameter at its widest point.

2) There has to be a 2, right?  I can’t just leave 1 hanging there or there’d have been no point in numbering this section AT ALL.  I will use this space to plug these.  They’d be awesome to use with this toy.

All in all, I think the Chocolate Chip is a great, affordable glass piece.  I own two more from the Dream Toys Glassworks line, and I have not been disappointed.  As a bonus, the Chocolate Chip does NOT come in a bag that smells weird!  So if you love glass but don’t want to shell out the big bucks, I would definitely check this out at Pinkcherry.

The Final Checklist:
Body-safe: ✔
Anal-safe: x
Textured: ✔
Oh so very affordable: ✔
Outspoken Clitic Rating: 8/10

Before PinkCherry.com sent me the products in the following review, the only Intimate Organics product I’d tried was Hydra, their water-based lube.  Hydra impressed (not just me, either), and these new products do not disappoint.  Thanks to Pinkcherry.com for sending them along!  

Relaxing Lemongrass and Coconut Cleansing Bath and Shower Gel

This shower gel comes in a hefty 240mL bottle (about 8oz) with the Intimate Organics logo on the front of the label (sort of risque, I guess?  I don’t feel uncomfortable leaving it on the bathtub ledge in full view of my 3 roommates I met a month ago, but YMMV).  The smell is predominantly coconut-y: I can barely detect a hint of the lemongrass (not that I’m complaining, I love coconut).  The instructions on the side of the bottle say to dispense some of the product into your hands and work it into a lather, but like any shower gel ever created, this works better with a loofah.  You don’t use much (I use about a quarter-sized amount every time) so the bottle will last you for a while.  I’ve been using this gel for about a week and I really like it: the smell lingers after the the lather has been rinsed off and it’s a good moisturizer.  It’s also really good for shaving (legs: I haven’t tried it in this capacity anywhere else).  Is it any more relaxing than my shower otherwise would have been?  Probably not, but it does smell nice.  

Energizing Fresh Orange and Wild Ginger Body Souffle

The body souffle comes in a standard triangular-lotion-squeeze-bottle-thingie.  The bottle holds 150mL (about 5oz); I’ve been using it a lot this past week and it’s still going strong.  I’ll definitely be replacing this one once I’ve finished it.  The smell is lovely, with notes of both orange and ginger (neither one overpowers the other).  I’ve been carrying this around with me to use on my hands (again, Intimate Organics logo on the front, but I have felt totally unconspicuous pulling it out in public places).  What I like best about this lotion is that it’s absorbed by the skin remarkably quickly and doesn’t leave the skin slick or sticky (a problem I have with a lot of hand lotions).  According to the instructions it’s best used on damp skin.  I’ve used it both right out of the shower and later in the day and haven’t noticed a difference.  All around, nice product.  

All Intimate Organics products are paraben- and DEA-free, and they’re also vegan, so you don’t have to worry about what you’re putting on your skin.  Check it out: US customers go here and Canadian customers go here! 

UPDATE:  I’ve been thinking a lot recently about the whole “organic” thing Intimate Organics has going on, and I just want to clarify some things.  Intimate Organics products are USDA certified organic, which, while it’s pretty cool, only means that the plant ingredients (like the coconut, lemongrass, orange, and ginger) are grown without pesticides.  It does not mean that everything in the products is “all natural”.  In fact, Intimate Organics acknowledges this and says that all the ingredients in their products are “naturally derived”.  As for what that actually means in practice, your guess is as good as mine (after all, high-number elements on the periodic table you can only get by smashing smaller atoms together in a particle accelerator could be called “naturally derived”).  So, all in all, I think that Intimate Organics products are probably safer for your skin than drugstore brands that don’t even make an effort.  However, I’d still like to issue a general caueat emptor: these aren’t products that are free from chemicals (it’ll be hard for you to find anything that IS free from chemicals.  Chemicals are sometimes very useful and safe).  There’s a certain amount of marketing going on here, as there is with everything.  That said, I still think this stuff is pretty awesome.  

I really, really wanted to love the Jenna’s Kitty Caress (JKC).  It’s affordable ($20) and it looks much more chic in person than most vibrators in the same price range: the plastic coating is smooth, there’s a thick metal band around the base (which looks much classier than the traditional plastic o-rings), and the on/off button is encased in translucent purple plastic.  It’s pretty cute.  The JKC has three speeds, and the vibrations are centered in the head of the vibrator (where the clitoral “scoop” is).  

However, the JKC has a few problems.  The first is that it just wasn’t powerful enough for me, and I’m no power queen.  One of the pluses for this toy *was* that it was nearly silent, but after a few uses, it’s started to rattle loudly on the most powerful setting (that might be a flaw in my particular toy, though).  

Because it’s so inexpensive, it might be a good first toy or toy for a beginner.  It’s small and nonthreatening, and the clitoral “scoop” really does deliver the vibrations to the clit nicely.  The less powerful vibrations would be less of an issue for a beginner than for someone who’s used more powerful toys.  

All in all, this toy is well-constructed and I can see myself using it for warm-up (or foreplay, as long as I can keep it from rattling).  

A toy I received for review from the wonderful PinkCherry.com : the Seduction.  The Seduction is a velvety-smooth, elegant traditional vibrator.  It’s not the quietest thing in the world, but the shape is nice and it’s reasonably powerful.  The Seduction comes in a pretty and convenient aluminum tin with a foam inset.  The top of the tin has a clear plastic window so you can see the toy inside.  I’ve been storing it inside the box, but if you need super discretion, it might not be the best choice since it has “Waterproof” “3-Speed” and “Phthalate free” all over the box.  

I got the Seduction in pink, but it also comes in lavender.  The base that screws off for battery insertion (and houses the control button) is a darker shade than the rest of the vibrator.  The shaft bulges out at the top before tapering back to a (rounded) point.  The bulge feels very nice when thrusting.  

The vibrations are controlled by a button at the base. There are three settings: the first two are only barely distinguishable, and there’s a huge jump in power and volume when you click to the highest setting.  The highest setting is *really* loud.  The tip of the vibe is actually pretty good for pinpoint clit stimulation: the vibrations are fairly concentrated.  Since the vibrations themselves are housed in the bulge at the top of the shaft, I found that I enjoyed this toy the most when I used it for shallow penetration, right around the vaginal opening.  

So, all in all, not a bad toy for $35.  It probably won’t rock the seasoned toy collector’s world, but it’d be great for a newbie or anyone in the market for a quality traditional vibe.  The smooth finish on the plastic really is lovely.  Head over to pinkcherry.com and get your own.  

Hi everyone! I apologize for my long hiatus (real life got in the way). I’d like to talk now about the Don Wands Bent Graduate, an affordable glass toy generously sent to me by pinkcherry.com.

(Yes, that is an article on language evolution by Noam Chomsky that this toy was photographed on.  What?  I turned it over!)  

There are many, many good things to say about this toy.  First is that, as mentioned above, it’s affordable.  You can get it from pinkcherry.com for about $35.  This is a great thing for anyone who has looked at beautiful Phallix glass toys that retail for about $200 and despaired.  The more affordable glass, the better!  And, quite frankly, it isn’t usually the case that you get what you pay for: my favorite glass toys have all been on the inexpensive side. (Plus, the Rainbow Mega Nubby, another Don Wands glass dildo, is basically the most popular glass toy ever.)

 The Bent Graduate comes with a sample of Wet Platinum silicone lube and a ludicrously puffy pink case to prevent damage: 

 (It looks funny, but you’ll be glad to have the case if you ever drop it!  And  yes, I’m going to continue to degrade that fine piece of scholarship by  taking photos of sex toys on it.)

  Anyway, glass is a great sex toy material.  It’s phthalates-free and body-  friendly.  The Bent Graduate is made of Pyrex glass, which means it’s  basically indestructible.  You should still check it for little chips and  cracks (and if you find any, stop using it!), but they’re unlikely to happen.    I’m sure you’ve read elsewhere the wonderful temperature retaining  properties of Pyrex glass, so I won’t go into detail here: suffice to say that  this  toy was ice cold when it first arrived and within a few minutes of  using it  was warmer than me.  Glass is awesome.  

 Personally, I really enjoyed pairing this toy with a small clit vibe (I  usually go for my trusty Xtreme Pack).  I like  glass toys best after I’ve  warmed up a little, maybe orgasmed once already.  My favorite part about  this dildo is that since the curve on the g-spotting end is so pronounced, I could insert it and rub my clit against the shaft.  

Another great thing is that both ends of this dildo are usable.  The  drastically curved end is great for g-spotting (although the head is kind of small, so g-spot stimulation might be more challenging with this toy for those who don’t know exactly where theirs is).  The end with the bulbs also feels really nice during penetration, and the curved end makes an easy-to-hold  handle.  Neither end is particularly thick, which will be good for some people and not good for other people.  Personally, I tend to like my glass  dildos on the thinner side, since the material has no give at all.  For size  comparison purposes, here’s a side-by-side photo of the Bent Graduate  and the ever-popular Lelo Ella: 

You can see from this photo how pronounced the g-spot curve on the Bent Graduate is.  

Glass is an easy material to care for: you can use all kinds of lubricants with it (oil-based lubes are not recommended for penetrative use, though).  Glass can be sterilized (Pyrex glass can be boiled, wiped down with a 10% bleach solution, or placed in the dishwasher, top rack, no soap), so this toy could be used with multiple partners or could be switched between vaginal and anal use if sterilized properly in between.  

The Bent Graduate could be used as an anal toy, if you were careful: the bulbous handle is a little thicker than the rest of the toy, so it could be used safely as a base.  The curve might be really nice for prostate stimulation on a guy, just a thought.  

All in all, I’d say go for it, unless you’re a size queen, in which case, this dildo is probably not for you.  But otherwise, I’d say it’d be a great addition to the collection of glass afficionados everywhere.  Head over to pinkcherry.com and check it out!

(I’m using the banner because I can.  Bwahaha.)